Reading the list of chores on websites tells me that you needs to read a lot of lists to get a really good idea. Each list just lists 4-6 ideas from which you might select 2. So I read about 7 lists to select from. I think we've been selling our kids short, and I will need these lists to finally convince my husband that yes, in fact, it is reasonable to think that our 7 year old should be able to vacuum or load the dishwasher. I periodically change their chores, but I like them to keep them for at least 4 months, since one of my goals is learning to do something better than the time before.

Sources for this list

But I am a practical person, and perhaps this is a problem. I have little respect for sentiment. I have often thought of myself as a person who doesn't hold a grudge. I realize today that this is not exactly true. If you have wronged me in the past and someone was to ask me about it again today, I would certainly draw the same conclusion that you are a worthless wart just as you were that fateful day. However, it is not really practical for me revisit these feelings regularly so I tend to just forget about them more often so I remember other things like putting out a new roll of toilet paper.

Yesterday I had a long phone call with a co-worker. We grate on each other when ever time permits, but it doesn't really last terribly long or have large lingering effects because we are both practical people. It simply isn't practical to continue on being annoyed or annoying for very long. Being that we are so alike, and he is older than me by 15 or so years he guides me through the perils of being so practical even if he doesn't know it. Rarely does the student become the teacher.

Yesterday's talk turned to death at some point as a third mutual acquaintance of ours if headed to a funeral. The core question was why should a person need to attend a funeral for 4 days. If you've been to a funeral they seldom last more than 2 hours. True enough. But here I actually had some insight about why a funeral might be more than 2 hours. When my own father passed it was a horrible surprise. My cell phone starting ringing and continued to ring for 2 hours while I ignored it as I was in the middle of a bachelor party. It just seemed that nothing could be so important, but after 8 calls one tends to answer, as I did. Suddenly upon hearing the news that my father had been found on the floor in the kitchen cold and blue and without hope, my life stopped right and started over on a new course. I could fathom why a person would need more than a week for their new life to merge into their old life, and I explained this as best I could. I think I was understood.

My dear friend from the introduction to this reflection is not a practical person, not like me. He is not impractical he is just connected to his sentiment better than I. He got married 18 months ago. I was at his wedding. When he shared the news of his pending nuptials he commented that it would be a small affair for only the closest family friends. He and I had started to lose touch as of late because we were both so busy courting our futures: he engaged and I soon would be. So when I got the invitation to his wedding I read that to mean "I am a closest friend." See. How practical of me? If Y then X so if X then Y. Since the wedding I have seen him twice: once at my own wedding and then once for happy hour. I asked him to hang out a few more times but he was busy. I once accepted a large group invite over to his house to watch football, but I, in essence, didn't show. My husband had to work, and I became nervous about watching football without him since I hate the sport. Then I was late because I had spent so much time trying to decide that value of my football interest versus the value of making a connection with my friend and his new family. I got lost on the way until I finally found myself sitting outside his house full hour late trying to identify any of the other cars to know if I would know a single soul there. I walked up to the front door, stopped short, turned, and went home. That would be the last time I saw him. Sometime in the fall he had welcomed his first child. I was not invited to any showers for the couple, but I sent a large LARGE box of diapers to their house. It seemed like a lovely useful gift. The box arrived it would seem without a gift note, glug, but I got word that it arrived via a general announcement on facebook, "Thank you to who ever sent a large box of diapers." Ah well.

I am yet to meet his son. I am never invited to game night or dinner or happy hour. Recently my husband remarked that he didn't consider this man a "good friend" as I had referred to him. That makes sense. In the time I've known my husband, he has seen this pal three times: a wedding, a wedding, and a happy hour. Today I got a new face book message from my dear friend in response to my inquiry about where to watch the super bowl. He had a pleasant suggestion to watch it at home, as he was doing, having his own party. This party was closed to all but "extended family peeps only." So I think I am starting to get the hint. He hasn't said we are no longer friends, but he has all but said it. If X then Y.

The question remains in my mind, why is that exactly. And I don't know. My hunch is that is has something to do with my lack sentimentality, but I will likely never know. To my dear friend, I know you will do well so I do not need to wish such things for you. I am sorry to see this fate, but I know this funeral will be less than 4 days. If my conclusions are wrong, and you are ever to see this, then perhaps you will find yourself free soon?