About the time I got married, I was reading blogs of other brides-to-be, and after the weddings I've kept up with of them. One family has just made a major move from Tucson to LA. I would link to her excellent writing, but she took
it private. In one of her lasts posts, the author gushes about her excitement to move, saying that she really hated living in Tucson, they both did. I have to paraphrase now, because I can't go back and read the post!! (ARGH!! if you are out there ellie I'm bummed seriously). She says she has a great husband, but marriage is hard and living in Tucson made it harder.
So what struck me was "marriage is hard." I know it is. It fundamentally has to be. Books of cliches can be written to remind you that nothing good comes cheap. Yet I thought I must be very fortunate as my marriage to date was not so tough but very rewarding. I do, however, have a pretty short memory of things. It makes me forget my shopping list in the store, and it makes me forget that my husband and I screamed vulgarities trying to do our taxes with his ex-wife.
So I asked hubby. Hey is our marriage hard? And he said no, not really. The only things that cause us tension are the girls - our three young daughters. Don't send me rubbish about hating my children. Don't tell me I don't know how lucky I am or that they should be the center of my universe. I want to be clear here, cause some of you people are freaks, it's not the girls specifically. It's about being parents, raising a family, and in our case, working with their other family. If marriage is hard, raising a family is torture. The pressure is intense. The responsibilities are immeasurable.
Since I agreed to start talking about my parenting woes, I thought I would post
this. I was just keeping up with gossip, when I found what might be a good read. I love this line:
Sex lives of people who have children are worse—there’s data to prove it
And that's bad bad news, cause there's all sorts of data to tell you to have sex to be
happy. And in this
guy's book, which I don't suggest you read cause it is so badly written, he says while men don't cheat for the sex not having any sex will create a disconnect which DOES lead to cheating. It could all become a downward spiral quickly. First kissing, then baby, the sleep deprivation, the chastity, then fighting, then cheating. Disaster. So you need some parenting coping skills. I would give you mine, but I'm still working them out.
Labels: parenting