Last month I started to tell you all about making a dress. I finished it!! I wore it to my Brother-in-laws wedding. I wish I had taken more pictures of the in between steps. They might reveal the strange pucker on my tushy that the dress made. I also don't have a great picture of the completed dress. This was was snapped during the wedding photo booth, and I was slouching, wearing a sweater, and the dress was wrinkled by this point. Still, I was very pleased with my results.

About the time I got married, I was reading blogs of other brides-to-be, and after the weddings I've kept up with of them. One family has just made a major move from Tucson to LA. I would link to her excellent writing, but she took it private. In one of her lasts posts, the author gushes about her excitement to move, saying that she really hated living in Tucson, they both did. I have to paraphrase now, because I can't go back and read the post!! (ARGH!! if you are out there ellie I'm bummed seriously). She says she has a great husband, but marriage is hard and living in Tucson made it harder.

So what struck me was "marriage is hard." I know it is. It fundamentally has to be. Books of cliches can be written to remind you that nothing good comes cheap. Yet I thought I must be very fortunate as my marriage to date was not so tough but very rewarding. I do, however, have a pretty short memory of things. It makes me forget my shopping list in the store, and it makes me forget that my husband and I screamed vulgarities trying to do our taxes with his ex-wife.

So I asked hubby. Hey is our marriage hard? And he said no, not really. The only things that cause us tension are the girls - our three young daughters. Don't send me rubbish about hating my children. Don't tell me I don't know how lucky I am or that they should be the center of my universe. I want to be clear here, cause some of you people are freaks, it's not the girls specifically. It's about being parents, raising a family, and in our case, working with their other family. If marriage is hard, raising a family is torture. The pressure is intense. The responsibilities are immeasurable.

Since I agreed to start talking about my parenting woes, I thought I would post this. I was just keeping up with gossip, when I found what might be a good read. I love this line:

Sex lives of people who have children are worse—there’s data to prove it

And that's bad bad news, cause there's all sorts of data to tell you to have sex to be happy. And in this guy's book, which I don't suggest you read cause it is so badly written, he says while men don't cheat for the sex not having any sex will create a disconnect which DOES lead to cheating. It could all become a downward spiral quickly. First kissing, then baby, the sleep deprivation, the chastity, then fighting, then cheating. Disaster. So you need some parenting coping skills. I would give you mine, but I'm still working them out.

Labels: parenting

At my house I tend to throw smaller parties. More than 15 people and I have a nightmare brewing. There will be a chair / seating issue. The floor space will be crowded, and someone will always be waiting to use my one bathroom. So when I do throw a party I invite about 15 people, hoping for 10. I am selective in my guest list, which is always a muck anyways. I have some general theme. The days of an all purpose "house party" went out when my neighbor asked me to stop the guest from leaving beer cans on his porch. That's a shame really, since in those days 4 12-packs and 2 party packs from Taco Bell made it an awesome shin-dig.

So my next fete is a birthday party with nearly no mention of birthday. I read somewhere that after age 12 you can't expect anyone to care that it is your birthday. Since this will be the birthday for someone turning 28, it means that I have to entertain the guest and provide them with goodies, a flip of a kiddie party.

Cocktails and Follies anyone?
That's my theme for this upcoming. The b-day guy likes to play games, and there are never enough people to play all the games he can play, so a crowd playing games is a great present. The other "game" is trying new cocktails. Each guest is bringing a recipe to make an often untasted concoction.

Of course I need some more party planning ideas, like food. Do I serve a birthday cake? Interestingly enough, I was just thinking about heading to Costco when I read this article on Chow. So then I found loads of other resources as well.

I was really fond of this "Because of the fluid nature of this party (no pun intended!) you can mix guests who might not feel comfortable sitting across from one another at a three-hour dinner party." since I didn't think about it like that at all.

A possible menu

• Wild Mushroom Toasts
• Maple-Pepper Salmon bites
• Spiced nuts or Honeyed Cashews
• Lamb meatballs
• Pizza bites
• Beef Satay
• Muhammara Dip
  
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